Post Valentine's Day thoughts

Sorry to all you gentlemen out there.

Sorry I wasn't there with a pre-Valentine's Day extravaganza to guide you through the confusing world of Conversation Hearts, lollipops and chocolate. Sorry I wasn't there to offer you some advice on what to get your special someone when you were in your moment of dire need -- Friday night at 7 p.m.

There are two possible explanations I can offer. The first goes something like this: I didn't post a Valentine's Day blog entry so you would realize how important my blog is to your having a successful holiday. Better for me to enforce a dismal, misguided Valentine's Day on you than give you the chance to skip out on this critique and spend the next fifty years of your life kicking yourself because you blew St. Patrick's Day.

The second explanation is that I was in the same boat you were and didn't have time to post a blog for last-minute Valentine's Day success. I was running around like a two-year-old's nose, trying to sort through flowers and find the perfect gift.

You are, no doubt, wondering which of these explanations is true. Unfortunately I can't tell you, If it's the first, you, my readers will be insulted that I doubted your loyalty. But my girlfriend reads this blog (or so she tells me) so I can't admit to the second, either.

Therefore I'll try to make amends and sweep this whole debacle under the rug by throwing a kitchen sink full of excuses at you and offering quick advice to remember for next year's Valentine's Day. I was fighting with spotty Internet. My dog was sick. Aliens abducted me.

And even though I promise I won't hang you out to dry again next year, remember this piece of advice: Buy chocolate. The biggest heart box you can find.