Humbug to Subway's December deals

The pictured sandwich isn't any of the numerous options that are great deals at Subway this December. Too many choices left your food critique's decision-making skills paralyzed, making a sandwich-shop visit impossible and forcing the blog to go with this public-domain photo from Wikimedia.

Ah, December! A time of cookies, eggnog, meat-and-cheese baskets, and chocolate Advent calendars! A time, in other words, when “too much of a good thing” gives way to “too many of multiple good things.”

Subway decided to jump into the over-the-top boat this month by offering not just its usual $5 Footlong deal -- my love for which I’ve previously documented -- but by throwing in a pair of even better sub steals. The ubiquitous sandwich shops are selling 6-inch Meatball Marinara subs and 6-inch Cold Cut Combos for just $2 apiece as part of “Customer Appreciation Month.”

This isn’t the first time Subway’s done 6-inch sandwiches for $2. But it is the first time I have a complaint about it: I'm overwhelmed.

See, the Meatball Marinara and Cold Cut Combo are good sandwiches. Unfortunately for those of us who order based on price, so is this month’s $5 Footlong, the Western Egg & Cheese. Throw some Chipotle Southwest Sauce on that thing and you’ve got yourself a real winner.

You could argue that we don’t have a problem. The $2 subs are cheaper, since you can order a pair for $4 -- which is, after all, less expensive than the $5 you’d shell out for the 12-incher of the month. That argument doesn't take into account the timing of your orders, however.

Egg-based subs aren't normally available at Subway past breakfast hours. That restriction comes off when one of them is the month’s $5 Footlong. Meaning this month, we’re forced to choose between taking advantage of special extended ordering hours and frugality.

Subway could have avoided this whole mess by simply offering its $2 subs during a month that had a less-appetizing $5 Footlong. Might I suggest a month with the Chimera-esque Oven Roasted Chicken with Spinach? Perhaps the Jalapeno Tuna?

I’m sorry to Scrooge over this. I’d just rather have a December holiday from hard choices.