Two javas for me, none for you

Chocolate and coffee: a match made in heaven. Coffee-flavored ice cream, chocolate-covered coffee beans and the ever-popular mocha are evidence of that. But how does the combination work when the food in question is not quite so ... upscale?

Thanks to the folks at Twix, we have a chance -- well, two chances -- to find out. Twix Java bars follow the tried-and-true formula of two cookie, caramel and chocolate bars per pack. In this incarnation the cookie is chocolate, the caramel is infused with java flavor and standard milk chocolate coats it all.

My hope for Twix Java was that the bars would be perfect for those days when you need a Twix that doesn't pack the super-sweet punch of the standard bars. A little bitter coffee flavor would go a long way toward creating the ultimate afternoon snack for disillusioned sweet tooths.

Had this hope been fulfilled, Twix would have been catapulted beyond its current title of best workplace candy bar into the discussion for greatest candy bar on the market. As I've said before, the pairing of two bars per pack gives Twix an edge over any other candy at the office. It means your snack lasts longer and is twice as effective at distracting you from an angry boss or a pile of paperwork. What Twix usually lacks, however, is a depth of flavor. Standard Twix bars are satisfyingly sweet and crunchy but don't draw quite enough oral interest to land in the elite tier of candy.

Sadly, we'll have to wait another day for Twix to take the next step in candy bar evolution. Twix Java provides the same sugar rush as before without much discernible coffee flavor.

Some Java tones do linger after you've chewed and swallowed, but they don't land on your tongue. Instead they lurk at the edge of your perception, hovering at the back of your throat like the ghost of Starbucks past. It's as if you drank a cup of coffee an hour ago and recently ate a candy bar. Everything in your mouth still tastes like chocolate and caramel..

The closest food to which I can compare Twix Java is McDonald's Mocha. You may recall that I spent most of my time complaining that Micky D's went too heavy on the chocolate and ludicrously light on the coffee. Those same problems exist in our candy subject of today.

Those problems aren't a recipe for legendary status, or even four sporks. Unfulfilled dreams weigh heavily on Twix Java, and the bars come up short: three sporks out of five.Rather than making a name for itself, Twix Java is just an ordinary Joe.