The following review was submitted by William Reinier, a good friend of mine and new correspondent to Rick's Food Critique. William, pictured at left, writes from Stillwater, Okla. where he attends Oklahoma State University.
As a big guy, I know a thing or two about food, and after sitting on the couch watching television I saw a commercial for the new Guitar Hero World Tour Box at KFC. And for just $6.99 this seemed like too good of a deal to pass up.
The only logical thing to do was to get in my minivan and drive to my local KFC, as it was near lunchtime and the box seemed like a good idea. There was only one thing that I forgot to realize: While this seemed like a great deal, it was still food from KFC.
It began harmlessly enough. A very cordial man greeted me as I walked in and I could tell that the boredom was overcoming him -- the only other people in the restaurant were an old couple (we're talking AARP-old) and the other employees.
"I'll have the Guitar Hero Box, please."
This is what ensued:
"Would you like BBQ or Original Recipe strips?"
"Would you like a BBQ or Original Recipe Snacker?"
"Would you like a drumstick or a thigh? Original or extra crispy?"
"What two sides would you like?"
"What would you like to drink?"
"Is this for here or to-go?"
"Do you need any sauce?"
When I finally got my food, I felt mentally exhausted. But I was ready to dig in.
I sat down and looked in my box, eager to begin. I took out the baked beans (one of my sides) and was very pleasantly surprised by the results. In the South, the ability to prepare baked beans is a commodity, and KFC did not disappoint. I picked up one of my strips and began to eat the bulk of the meal.
As I continued through my potato wedges and the KFC Snacker, I could feel myself starting to wear down. There is a special sauce that goes on the sandwich which is only made worse by old lettuce. It should be no surprise that food never looks as good as the television makes it look, so I wasn't very let down there.
The real disappointment came with the chicken leg. There were a few tip-offs that it was going to be bad. First of all, the server gave me two legs in an obvious attempt to get rid of them, because there was, in my mind, no telling how old they were. At first bite, I thought it was especially juicy, until I realized that it was especially greasy. I was forced to blot my half-eaten chicken with a napkin much like one would blot a pizza. I didn't know how I was going to get through this one, let alone the second. Luckily, I was able to muster enough will to get through.
Finally, it was time for the biscuit. This is easily the most underrated part of any KFC meal, and was maybe the best. I attempted to put some of the prepackaged butter on it when I noticed that it was not butter, but in fact a "Buttery Spread," as labeled on the packet, so I ate it dry. Fortunately, the meal also came with a 32 oz. drink with a game piece to win Guitar Hero prizes.
The food was decent, but KFC continues to dumb down chicken and take away what makes it so good. The only way to do chicken right would be to find a way to cook it fresh. It would also decrease the amount that is thrown out at night or recycled to the next day.
Sadly, I will probably go back and get another Guitar Hero Box.
Using Rick's patented system, I'm going to give it three and a half sporks out of five, based mainly on quantity rather than quality.
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