Where's the pork in Pizza Hut's Bacon Cheese Stuffed Crust?

There's bacon in the crust. Supposedly.

Let's do another pizza review.

It's late fall, a time of early sunsets, long dark nights and extensive football viewing. What better way to warm the chill of creeping winter than with a warm pizza box delivered to the home?

And what better way to improve a warm box of pizza than with stuffed crust? What better way to improve Stuffed Crust Pizza than with bacon?

Pizza Hut seemed to have followed that thought process when it created its Bacon Stuffed Crust Pizza. Said pizza should be the precipice of junk food. It should deserve its own museum in Louisville, Kentucky, a place on the fast food Mount Rushmore and a spot atop every list of favorite takeout foods. It should marry cheese, bacon and crust in a union blessed by divine providence.

Unfortunately, the gods did not smile upon Pizza Hut's creation.

While one should finish a pie feeling pigged out on porky goodness, there's none of that bacon blast here. The tiny bacon bits in the crust are completely overwhelmed by Pizza Hut's salty, gooey stuffed crust. If I didn't know there was bacon in this pizza, I might have missed the meat entirely while eating.

That's simply unforgivable. Stuffed Crust Pizza is delicious in a what-did-I-just-do-to-my-body way. Bacon is delicious in the same way. Do a decent job of combining them and the result would be a heart stopper.

Instead it's a heart breaker. I can't get past what might have been here. Two sporks out of five.